I used to believe that you could only end a relationship if something really bad happened. There had to be a reason why and it needed to be good enough to warrant ending it all. The fact that I wasn’t really that into it anymore or that I had different goals wasn’t enough of a reason. If the person was treating me well, then I should stay. But good, ok, or satisfactory relationships end all the time and that is ok.
I’ve heard this from so many clients and it makes sense why we feel this way.
We romanticize long relationships even if they suck. We commend people who have stuck it out for 30 years without ever asking how they feel about being together for so long. Our goal is relationship longevity instead of relationships satisfaction.
This doesn’t mean you should necessarily leave every relationship at the first sign of a struggle, but I want to validate that relationships can, will, and are allowed to end for a variety of reasons. We often only consider a break up “worth it” if there was infidelity or abuse. But, an “ok” relationship may have run it’s course and the people may have changes so much that they’re no longer compatible. There are so many reasons why good relationships end that have nothing to do with infidelity, abuse, or another extreme relationship violation.
Do any of these reasons resonate with you? Have you ever been in a relationship that was “good,” but not what you wanted?
If you’ve been on the receiving end of a breakup in a not that bad, ok, pretty good relationship…it can be downright confusing. And I don’t blame you for being confused.
Here are some affirmations you can use after a break up:
That’s why I created The Break Up Workbook.
I made this workbook for anyone who is grieving the loss of a relationship – whether it was years ago or today.
This workbook will help you navigate all the hard questions like,
It’s a 40 page digital workbook with:
The workbook is digital, with white backgrounds and black font so it can easily be printed.
Whitney Goodman, LMFT is a therapist, author, and mother on a quest to make mental health information accessible and easy to understand.
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