Forgiveness is the conscious and deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment, anger, vengeance, etc. toward a person or group who has hurt or wronged you. Often we’re told that we should “forgive and forget,” like that’s somehow the key to moving on and living a better life. But what if you can’t forget? What if forgetting isn’t the optimal choice?
When something bad happens to you or someone does something harmful, your sense of reality is often shattered. You might start asking yourself questions like:
It becomes so hard to just forgive and forget because our entire worldview has likely been shattered. This may impact beliefs about who you should trust and who is in your corner. Give yourself some grace here – it’s not easy.
Whitney Goodman, LMFT is a therapist, author, and mother on a quest to make mental health information accessible and easy to understand.
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